Rage, a Bike, the Wind, and Jennifer Knapp by Charis Weathers

 
Rage, a Bike, the Wind, and Jennifer Knapp
By: Charis Weathers
 
My young adult years were wrapped in a smothering blanket of shame. I knew I was attracted to girls, and I knew both church and culture said that attraction was depraved. If I had gotten into a relationship with a girl in my teens or twenties I’m not sure I would’ve survived my own self-hatred. 
 
My connection with conservative evangelicalism was my only way to get in good with God. If my behavior ticked all the “good” boxes, if I shared my faith, if I just didn’t act on my attractions then I could counteract my inherent badness, the sin of my very existence. 
 
After a near break-down I was forced to get some therapy, which, thankfully, took the edge off of my shame. I made peace with my attractions, and I began to actually like the God that had been served to me as so wrathful. So much so that I felt an urgent pull toward seminary; the theology of the conservative organization I was working for just wasn’t enough anymore, but I didn’t even have the language for “why” it wasn’t working. 
 
My ordination, a year after seminary, was in a not-quite-as-conservative denomination. The next year I met a woman with whom I fell in love. She fell in love with me, too. The problem was that both of us were pastors in denominations that were not okay with our love. We struggled, we tried to hold our alignment with the moral statements of our ordaining bodies, and we spun on in a cycle of attraction/pushing away. 
 
After I left my denomination over women in ministry (women “could” be lead pastors, but it was super rare that any were), I was happy to move to Seattle, move in with my love, stew about my pastoral calling, and work at REI. On days when I had the time and it wasn’t raining I’d ride my bike the 30 miles to work. 
 
It was 2010, and Jennifer Knapp had just come out. In my world, this was a complete bomb. She had been a contemporary christian music rockstar who had fallen off the face of the earth for several years. It turned out she was in Australia with her female partner. People burned her CDs, castigated her, said she was going to hell as was anyone who continued to listen to her music. 
 
I bought her album, “Letting Go,” and I’d listen to it on my bike rides. Two hours of hearing Knapp sing about her rage with the church, her uncomfortable acceptance of herself, and her love for a wonderful woman. When no one was around I’d sing at the top of my lungs, push hard on the pedals, and scream at the church, the culture, those who wanted me to feel shame.

There are so many great songs on this album; the one that had me singing the loudest was “Inside,”
I know they’ll bury me
Before they hear the whole story
Even if they do, well I know they won’t care to
Chalk it up to one mistake
Or God forbid they give me grace
Well, who in the hell do they think they are
Oh, I’m the one who keeps it on the inside
Locked away from judgments wrong
Oh, I’m the one who keeps it on the inside
So they’ll leave me alone
Leave me alone
I know they’ll bury me
Alive
Even though I’ve got conviction
Even though I’ve got pride
I know they’ll bury me, they’ll bury my alive
 
I’d ride, breathless, waving my proverbial fist at the evangelical institution that made me hide, made me choose counseling or self harm, made me obsessed with following rules so God would like me a little more.
In “Dive In” I began to understand the spiritual limitations of anti-gay rhetoric in the church,
I’m tired of choking in
The shallow waters I’ve been in
I’m ready to baptized
By water and blood come on push me under
I’m so tired of standing on the edge of myself
You know I’m longing for it
To dive in
Dive in
 
I DID long to dive into something more free. If one explores Knapp’s pre-2010 lyrics you’ll find quite a bit of torment. From “Undo Me,” to “Refine Me,” 
Lord…
Come with your fire, burn my desires
Refine me
Lord…
My will has deceived me, please come free me
Refine me
 
Yet the deception was with what we’d been told. It wasn’t our will, we didn’t need to be refined. We needed to be released into the wider understanding of the love of God. To let go of that which hindered, of those who hindered. 
 
As the wind whipped at my face on those bike rides I could feel myself changing, beginning to push back, beginning to live.
 
 

 
 

 
 

 
Charis Weathers (she/her) is the pastor of Burlington Lutheran Church in Burlington, WA. A former mission developer who started Echoes Bellingham, she delights in experimenting with new ways of being and doing church. Partnered with Deborah, they love to explore the northwest by foot, boat, kayak, and in her mini camper, Nemo. 
 


 
 

Never One Thing: Clare

Never One Thing
By: Clare
 
CW: Strong Language
 
 
I’m a Lutheran because of our theology of both/and (simul justus et peccator)–this human tension of holding constant reminders that I’m f*cked up, loved and holy.
 
Coming out in my late 20’s felt like an explosion of both/and. Fears, insecurities and messiness were held together with excitement, joy and learning to love and to know myself; seeing myself the way that I now know God sees me.  As Joel Workin professed, “living in forgiveness, claiming my wholeness,” my fullness. There is a never-ending depth to the ways God invites me, invites us, to pronounce ourselves in the fullness of who God is calling us to be.
 
May Erlweine’s song “Never One Thing” offers a center to the ways I embrace and embody queerness in this “Lutheran-ey” way.
 
“I’m the underbelly, I am the claw never one thing no not one thing at all. I’m a street fighter, I’m a prayer for peace. I’m a holy-roller, I’m a honey bee.”
 
bell hooks wrote about the ways that queerness speaks to a self that is “at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”* Queerness centers how I want to be in the world. Being a part of visions for new ways that we can thrive and live, at odds with the forces of oppression. queerness orients me in my faith. Faith that compels me to confess when I f**k up, and to account and course correct in accountability to community. Queerness locates me in the work of justice and call toward unmasking and confronting systems of injustice, especially when they benefit me. “I am the truth, I am the lie. I am the ground I am the sky..”
 
I hold the tensions of what it is to be a queer person, especially in this month of pride. While there is space to mark this season with kinfolk around the world, with ancestors of the multitudes of ways that love and this vision of thriving exists, we hold and know the pain we still face of violence and discrimination. How, as hooks speaks to, are we in tension with the world around us. There are tensions in this month of pride coopted by capitalism, while rooted in foundations of protest started by Black and brown transwomen. There are tensions, the both/and of movements that have been co-opted by whiteness culture and racism.
 
I have learned that to be queer does not absolve me from being racist or oppressive. Queerness doesn’t absolve me from participating in systems that perpetuate oppression and violence toward BIPOC siblings (especially Black transwomen). I know that I cannot simply center my queerness when it comes to Black liberation and anti-racism.
 
I am never one thing; and both my queer identity and my Lutheran theology help to remind me and hold me accountable – or at least they can.  As an elder in my internship community says, I get to “live out the risk of being faithful.” There is risk, there is tension, and while systems of domination have a strong pull, community calls me to remember to take risks for love.
 
Weighed down with grief and exhaustion of our world, (you know and can name what your body and spirit hold tender dear one and what it may need to recognize too that you avoid or numb to); we hold the tensions which call us to intersectionality and to the possibilities of both/and. There is brokenness in our world and our world contains beauty and resilience which compels us to action and to thriving.
 
How is our queerness calling and inviting exploration of tension? How will you embrace the many things and never one thing which claims you, and which always names you beloved?
 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 
Clare (she/her) is completing a two-year part time pastoral internship at University Lutheran Chapel in Berkeley, CA and was just approved as a candidate for Word and Sacrament. She works as a per diem Pediatric Chaplain at UCSF. Clare enjoys a good Tiktok and hearing your recommendations on summer readings and tv shows. Find her hanging out with the IrReverend, & High Priest of Fabulous John Brett at Faithful and Fabulous monthly queer spirituality events in SF.

Got to be Real by John Brett

We sat along the edge of the stage after her talk. In the quieted, small, storied college auditorium where MLK Jr. once spoke, the four of us exchanged dreams from the margins we inhabited. We conjured heady hopes that history would break open for us with the weight of our theory, praxis, casting visions of fullness, self & community actualization. Rebecca Walker was with us to discuss To Be Real, the then recently published book she had edited on emerging feminist thought: the personal was political as we brainstormed. I spoke of my desire to organize a small caravan of queer folx and allies to drive across the country into small towns to support and provide critical mass for first-ever Pride Parades. Perhaps inspired by Priscilla Queen of the Desert, and anticipating by decades the HBO show We’re Here, my daydream details were far more low-budget. Picture VW busses of rag-tag activists with poster board and sequins and chaplaincy training accompanying Melbas of the Upper Midwest or Annies of Appalachia while creating a rural queer network of organizers of the early internet age. 
 
Though the vision didn’t come to pass, I recognize that it continues to encapsulate something of what I imagine realness means. Any realness I, or anyone else might manifest entails a community context: to be seen, recognized, for all of who we are, who we want to be, whether children of chiffon, leather & studs, plaid, or silk lamé. None of us reaches such a salvation alone.
 
The first time I came out to anyone as questioning my sexuality, it was at a church lock-in, perhaps 2am, in the intensity of an adolescent existential conversation next to the altar in the darkened church chancel. The sanctuary “Jesus Candle” burned above us, casting flickering shadows. It was a holy moment. A few months later, the second time I came out as questioning, a few hours away while I attended a synodical youth leadership meeting, it was in another church sanctuary similarly late at night. My coming out journey started at church. 
 
Did the church and its promises make these spaces seem safer? Did the sacred architecture of worship, the cross looking down above all, allow me a level of comfort, a container to hold my fear and trembling? Nestled in these confessions, the fortunately kept secrets, did I seek absolution? Can we find solace in the institution that caused the wound? 
 
These were my first attempts at being real. Almost 30 years later, with deeper repeated church wounds, and joyous recognition of how much my denomination has indeed begun to accept people of all gender identities and sexual orientations, I wonder if I would still be Christian if I weren’t queer. Taking seriously the theology I was taught, that God comes to us in love, that we in turn love our neighbor, I have stubbornly insisted that the church recognize my realness, fullness, and beauty. As I even now speak my truth beneath the cross, bringing my vulnerability into worship spaces and beyond them, I invite the church, in expectation, to live into its own message, promises of grace. As I continue to work out my own realness, salvation in fear and trembling, still I ask the church to embrace its own.
 
“Your love is my love
My love is your love
Our love is here to stay…”
 
 

 
 
 

 

 
John M. Brett (he/hym/hys), ELCA seminarian & street chaplain, serves the SF Night Ministry as Minister of Faithful&Fabulous!, offering queer-centric ministry programming & accompaniment. Christened IrReverend, & High Priest of Fabulous by parishioners, his first on-the-job pastoral care lesson was to remember to tip the drag queens. He leads an annual Drag Street Eucharist & this fall will support the first-ever Spiritual DragCon.

ELM Pride Blog: Dr. Melissa James

Queer Pentecost on Late Night TV

 

We were a number of months into the pandemic when a clip of a late-night show caught my eye. “You have to see this!” my feeds echoed. Scraping the bottom of the well of all my reserves that were being used up keeping our queer little family safe and alive in a time of global pandemic and racial justice reawakening while also starting a new job I wearily clicked through looking for a moment of distraction or levity. And then I watched as Alanis Morrisette relived every meeting I had been trying to have over Zoom for the last months on national late night television—holding her small child she performed her song “Ablaze” being interrupted to have to explain what she was doing, having her equipment tugged at, and still delivering a powerful performance. The delivery of the song was enough to win me over and give me a moment of feeling seen but the song itself is what has kept it on my playlist for these many months that have followed. You see, the song is an oath to her children. It sings to them lifting up that which makes them uniquely glorious and says “I see you; I love you” and it is a naming of the commitment as their parent to keep the fire in their eye ablaze.  

This song speaks to me, particularly as a queer mom of a young child. It’s a reminder that even in these times and with so much out of my control it is my duty to this precious human being to kindle the light in her eyes. To help her understand her inherent worth and dignity and to kindle a flame within her that sees and fights for the recognition of that same worth and dignity in others.

But this is not just a song about parenting. Moving through this month of pride and having just celebrated Pentecost what better time to be reminded that we are called into community through God’s love with the express responsibility to keep the fire in each other’s eyes ablaze. Ablaze with the promise that we are all made in the image of God, imago Dei, and beloved of God. Ablaze with the promise that the unique gifts and stories of our lives are welcome and necessary here in this time and place. Ablaze with a fire to continue to be a part of the difficult and essential work of dismantling White supremacy culture within our church and our world. Ablaze with the fire and promise of righteous anger on which pride began. Ablaze with the audacious hope that all might flourish.


 

 


Dr. Melissa James (she/her) is a Minister of Word and Service (Deacon) in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA).   She currently serves the Unitarian Universalist Association as a congregational consultant for the Pacific Western Region and teaches at the University of San Diego in Sociology and Gender Studies. She lives in La Mesa, CA with her wife and 4-year-old daughter.

 

A Pastoral Message from Rev. Abel Arroyo Traverso

________ Pride

 

It’s hard to qualify Pride this year. The symbolic void where an impulsive “happy” should go weighs heavily on me today.

I would love to go with our usual greeting. “Happy Pride!” I want to scream Happy Pride from the rooftops and platforms -virtual or otherwise- and assure every single person in our community that this is the month when we can let our colors fly and we can show up as we are, even for a day, a moment, under the sun.

However, the realities we live in political, ecclesial, and socioeconomic, bluntly point back to that void where the “happy” should be.

Pride.

We all encounter Pride in different ways, in different spaces, and in different times as we grow, live, love, age, come out, come together, grow apart, move on, and stay. We find Pride in the quiet affirmations of chosen family keeping us safe, and by ourselves in our closets, in the whispers of promises that things will get better.

We find Pride in pool parties and harnesses, haircuts, nail polish, brunch, church, dungeons, and homes. We find Pride in the multitude of our talents and gifts. In our galaxy of genders. In the multiplicity of our love, care, and attractions.

I find Pride in the embrace of our community and identities, hopes, goals, and dreams. However, I can’t say that this is exactly happy.

Many of us still struggle with representation, care, and community. Many of us struggle living a public life, free from fear of harassment and harm. Hell, many of us struggle just staying alive.

Pride.

Beloved child of God, I invite you to meditate on what Pride means for you today. How would you qualify Pride?

Throughout the history of our faith, we can see this impulse to collectively qualify figures and events to speak to a hegemonic majority in the best of cases, or at our worst, to actively oppress, marginalize, and exterminate the cultural, ethnic, and religious other.

Yet here we are. Queer, trans, bi, sapphic, Aro/Ace Christians. Poly, kinky, vanilla, Lutherans.

We understand how our faith confession can be both liberating and condemning. We live, and live into this ambiguity, this queerness if you may, every day.

I would struggle to call it one thing, let alone good, facing all the evidence of what has been done in the name of Christ and the church.

Yet here we are.

Confessing and believing that the composer of creation wrote us, specifically us, as part of the symphony of the cosmos. 

I believe that this is the case for our community too. We are not here as an accident or by chance, but by choice. We are all, in our difference and diversity, part of this community to make it whole, beautiful and powerful. Like Esther, we were called for such a time as this.

ELM community, this is a hard, complicated, messy time, and even though we can’t all claim “happy”, I hope and pray that we can definitely claim our Pride.

Subversive, chaotic, powerful, and confessional.

Embodied as it is. As you are.

We make Pride what it needs to be, and what we pray it will become. So today as June starts my prayer is that you can claim the Pride you need. That you can find your co-conspirators and your strength in our communities. That you rage and meditate and share the Pride that is, knowing that the Pride we all make will be even better.

So beloved, I wish you a Pride. Make of it what you must. We trust that the God who was with our queer elders though history will keep showing us the way towards happiness, but more importantly, towards justice.

 

Rev. Abel Arroyo Traverso (they/he)
ELM Board Member 

A Response from the Latino Ministries Association, ELM, and other partner organizations

O LORD, HOW LONG SHALL I CRY FOR HELP?
RESPONSE FROM THE LATINO MINISTRIES ASSOCIATION AND PARTNER ORGANIZATIONS OF THE ELCA TO THE “PRESIDING BISHOP’S REPORT TO THE CHURCH” REGARDING THE SIERRA PACIFIC SYNOD
 
We are deeply saddened and disturbed by Presiding Bishop Eaton’s report on Rev. Megan Rohrer, Bishop of the Sierra Pacific Synod.
 
In a culturally insensitive dereliction of duty, Presiding Bishop Elizabeth Eaton has made public her decision to not bring disciplinary charges against the bishop for racist actions perpetrated against the community of Iglesia Luterana Santa María Peregrina (formerly known as Misión Latina Luterana) but instead, simply asking for their/his resignation. This news was shared the same week that the horrible murder of 19 children and two adults in a predominantly Latiné area of Uvalde, Texas, took place. This decision was also shared before a national holiday, suggesting an intent to avoid drawing attention to the Bishop’s Report to the Church.
 
In this weak and compassionless statement, Presiding Bishop Elizabeth Eaton framed racist actions as “unwise decisions” and “unfortunate events,” completely ignoring the suffering of an entire community of color of the church-body she is called to serve. With this work left undone, Presiding Bishop Eaton is giving a white aggressor the opportunity to decide their/his own fate — a decision deeply rooted in white supremacy and systemic racism. Communities of color in this church should be concerned about the inability of the Presiding Bishop to support and protect them against systemic racism. Furthermore, all members of the ELCA should be concerned that the Office of the Presiding Bishop is so tentative to hold a synodical bishop accountable for conduct incompatible with the character of the ministerial office; not fulfilling her call by choosing to protect policies and procedures of the church above serving its people.
 
In light of the inaction of the Office of the Presiding Bishop to hold Bishop Megan Rohrer and the synodical leaders of the Sierra Pacific Synod accountable, the Latino Ministries Association of the ELCA and signing partners urge our church to take the following actions:
  • We urge Bishop Eaton to publish the report of the ELCA Listening Panel that was tasked with this investigation.
  • We urge the assembly of the Sierra Pacific Synod to bring a motion calling for the removal of Bishop Megan Rohrer.
  • We urge the Conference of Bishops to bring disciplinary charges against Bishop Megan Rohrer.
Bishop Megan Rohrer is the first openly transgender bishop of the ELCA, with their/his election presenting a significant step forward in the diversity of this church body. However, this advancement has been marred by their/his actions and subsequent reactions steeped in defensive white supremacy. In the wake of the events on December 12, 2021, our Association — alongside other Ethnic Specific Associations in the ELCA as well as LGBTQIA+ partner organizations — has been advocating on behalf of not just Iglesia Luterana Santa María Peregrina but the greater ELCA Latiné community to publicly condemn the racist actions of Bishop Rohrer. Furthermore, we have been calling upon the Presiding Bishop to take disciplinary action against them/him immediately to avoid further harm to communities of color across the ELCA.
 
It is our duty and our Holy Responsibility to stand behind the diverse people of the body of Christ. We are disappointed that Presiding Bishop Eaton did not take disciplinary action to remove Bishop Megan Rohrer from the Office of Bishop of the Sierra Pacific Synod and from the roster of ordained ministry. As a church, we are called by our faith to forgive Bishop Megan Rohrer, but forgiveness does not mean they/he is fit for ministry. We pray for their/his well-being and that the Holy Spirit will guide Bishop Megan Rohrer to confess their/his racist actions, seek repentance, and commit to reconciliation and reparations.
 
The ELCA has the goal of gaining 1 million new and diverse members by the end of this decade. The actions (and inactions) of Presiding Bishop Eaton have jeopardized this goal. In a single day, the trust of an entire community of faithful Latiné Lutherans was lost. We must fight together for the recognition of the wrongs done to our communities of color in the form of accountability toward racial justice in our denomination, and for a healing process with the Latiné community, to avoid any further pain in our church — particularly with our siblings of color.
 
At this time, we cry out an ancient prayer. . .
 
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
 
In Christ,
 
Latino Ministries Association of the ELCA
in partnership with
European Descent Lutheran Association for Racial Justice (EDLARJ)
Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries
The Rev. Abel Arroyo Traverso, ELCA Estrategia Latina
Mary Campbell, ELCA Estrategia Latina
The Rev. Francisco Javier Goitía Padilla, Senior Director, Education for Leadership, Christian Community and Leadership Home Area, ELCA
The Rev. Maria Paiva, ELCA Estrategia Latina
Evelyn B. Soto, ELCA Senior Director, Resources and Relationships Christian Community and Leadership Home Area, ELCA
 
 
About the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
The ELCA is one of the largest Christian denominations in the United States, with more than 3.7 million members in more than 9,300 congregations across the 50 states and in the Caribbean region. Known as the church of “God’s work. Our hands,” the ELCA emphasizes the saving grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ, unity among Christians and service in the world.The ELCA’s roots are in the writings of the German church reformer Martin Luther.
 
About the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America | Conference of Bishops
The ELCA’s Conference of Bishops comprises the 65 synod bishops from across the U.S. and the Caribbean as well as the elected ELCA Presiding Bishop and Secretary. The group gathers at least twice each year for worship, study, mutual sharing, and to conduct business. The conference advises the Presiding Bishop on matters related to churchwide planning and ecumenical relations.
 
About the Latino Ministries Association of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America | Asociación de Ministerios Latinos de la ELCA
We are one body in Christ. We are called to live in one faith and one baptism. The Church of Christ is made up of people with different cultures, traditions, and languages. As Hispanic Christians faithful to the Lord, we cannot function apart, nor disconnect from ourselves, nor from the rest of the Body that is the Church. The purpose of this Association is to contribute to strengthening the proclamation of the Gospel to Latino communities, promoting the growth and consolidation of established and developing Latino congregations in the United States and the Caribbean, promoting inclusivity without assimilation and diversity without segregation, and combating racism in this church. Harnessing the diverse cultures in our church, we must fight and work for the union of all Lutheran members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
 

 
 
OH, DIOS, ¿POR CUÁNTO MÁS DEBO DE PEDIR AYUDA?
RESPUESTA DE LA ASOCIACIÓN DE MINISTERIOS LATINOS Y LAS ORGANIZACIONES ASOCIADAS A LA ELCA AL “INFORME DE LA OBISPA PRESIDENTA A LA IGLESIA” SOBRE EL SÍNODO DE SIERRA PACÍFICO
 
Estamos profundamente entristecidos y perturbados por el reporte de la Obispa Presidenta Eaton sobre el Reverende Megan Rohrer, Obispe del Sínodo de la Sierra del Pacífico.
 
En un abandono de su deber y en una forma culturalmente insensible, la Obispa Presidenta Elizabeth Eaton ha hecho pública su decisión de no presentar cargos disciplinarios contra el Obispe Rohrer por sus acciones racistas perpetradas contra la comunidad de la Iglesia Luterana Santa María Peregrina (anteriormente conocida como Misión Latina Luterana), sino simplemente solicitarle su renuncia. Esta noticia se compartió la misma semana en que ocurrió el horrible asesinato de 19 niños y dos adultos en una zona predominantemente latina de Uvalde, Texas. Esta decisión también se compartió antes de un fin de semana feriado nacional, lo que sugiere una intención de evitar la visibilidad de dicho Reporte de la Obispa Presidenta para la Iglesia.
 
En este reporte débil y sin compasión, la Obispa Presidenta Elizabeth Eaton enmarcó acciones racistas como simples “decisiones imprudentes” y “eventos desafortunados”, ignorando por completo el sufrimiento de toda una comunidad de color del cuerpo eclesiástico al que está llamada a servir. Con este trabajo dejado sin terminar, la Obispa Presidenta Eaton le está dando a un agresor blanco la oportunidad de decidir su propio destino, una decisión profundamente arraigada en la supremacía blanca y el racismo sistémico. Las comunidades de color en esta iglesia deberían preocuparse por la incapacidad de la Obispa Presidenta para apoyarles y protegerles contra el racismo sistémico. Además, a todos los miembros de la ELCA les debe preocupar que la Oficina de la Obispa Presidenta sea tan tentativa de responsabilizar a un obispo sinodal por conducta incompatible con el carácter de su cargo ministerial; incumpliendo así con su llamado, al elegir proteger las políticas y procedimientos de la iglesia por encima de servir a su gente.
 
En vista de la inacción de la Oficina de la Obispa Presidenta para responsabilizar a el Obispe Megan Rohrer y a los líderes sinodales del Sínodo de la Sierra del Pacífico, la Asociación de Ministerios Latinos de la ELCA y los aliados signatarios instan a nuestra iglesia a tomar las siguientes medidas:
  • Instamos a la Obispa Presidenta Eaton a que publique el informe del Panel de Escucha de la ELCA que se encargó de esta investigación.
  • Instamos a la asamblea del Sínodo de la Sierra del Pacífico a presentar una moción pidiendo la destitución del Obispe Megan Rohrer.
  • Instamos a la Conferencia de Obispes a presentar cargos disciplinarios contra el Obispe Megan Rohrer.
El Obispe Megan Rohrer es el primer Obispe abiertamente transgénero de la ELCA, y su elección representa un importante paso adelante en la diversidad de este cuerpo eclesiástico. Sin embargo, este avance se ha visto empañado por sus acciones y reacciones posteriores impregnadas en una supremacía blanca defensiva. A raíz de los eventos del 12 de diciembre de 2021, nuestra Asociación —junto con otras Asociaciones Étnicas específicas en la ELCA, así como organizaciones aliadas LGBTQIA+— ha estado abogando en nombre no solo de la Iglesia Luterana Santa María Peregrina sino de toda la comunidad Latiné de la ELCA para condenar públicamente las acciones racistas del Obispe Rohrer. Además, hemos pedido a la Obispa Presidenta que tome medidas disciplinarias en su contra de inmediato para evitar más daños a las comunidades de color en toda la ELCA.
 
Es nuestro deber y nuestra Santa Responsabilidad respaldar la diversidad de las personas en el cuerpo de Cristo. Estamos decepcionados de que la Obispa Presidenta Eaton no haya tomado medidas disciplinarias para destituir al Obispe Megan Rohrer de la Oficina del Obispado del Sínodo de la Sierra del Pacífico y de la lista de ministros ordenados. Como iglesia, nuestra fe nos llama a perdonar a el Obispe Megan Rohrer, pero el perdón no significa que sea apto para el ministerio. Oramos por su bienestar y que el Espíritu Santo guíe a el Obispe Megan Rohrer a confesar sus acciones racistas, buscar el arrepentimiento y comprometerse con la reconciliación y las reparaciones.
La ELCA tiene la meta de ganar 1 millón de miembros nuevos, jóvenes y diversos para fines de esta década. Las acciones (y omisiones) de la Obispa Presidenta Eaton han puesto en peligro este objetivo. En un solo día se perdió la confianza de toda una comunidad de fieles luteranos latines. Debemos luchar juntos por el reconocimiento de los daños causados a nuestras comunidades de color en forma de rendición de cuentas hacia una justicia racial en nuestra denominación, y por un proceso de sanación con la comunidad latiné, para evitar más dolor en nuestra iglesia, particularmente con nuestros hermanos, hermanas y hermanes de color.
En este momento, solo nos queda clamar una antigua oración. . .
 
Señor, ten piedad.
Cristo, ten piedad.
Señor, ten piedad.
 
En Cristo,
 
Asociación de Ministerios Latinos de la ELCA
en colaboración con
European Descent Lutheran Association for Racial Justice (EDLARJ)
 
Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries
The Rev Abel Arroyo Traverso
Mary Campbell
The Rev. Francisco Javier Goitía Padilla
Evelyn B. Soto
 

 
A STATEMENT FROM THE ELCA LISTENING TEAM
REGARDING SIERRA PACIFIC SYNOD
 
The ELCA Listening Team was convened by Bishop Elizabeth Eaton to hear the narratives of people in the Sierra Pacific Synod in a time of turmoil, and to make recommendations for action. Sadly, the decisions that have been reached by the Office of the Presiding Bishop totally disregard the heart and intent of our report. We do not want it to be supposed that our work is aligned with or supports the proposed actions.
 
The word “racism” does not appear at all in “The Bishop’s Report to the Church.” Yet the Team’s finding was that racist words and actions caused trauma and great pain to many people of color in that synod. To characterize racist actions as simply “insensitive” or “misguided” is to validate the charge against the ELCA that we are blind to the pain we cause our siblings of color. When we do not name and confess the sin of racism in our institutions, we are doomed to continue in its power.
 
In order to address institutional racism, we need institutional courage. The compassion and justice work of individuals cannot by themselves bring about the needed transformation of an entire institution. All parts of that institution must look courageously through a gospel lens at their practices and policies in order to recognize the ways in which they are contributing to oppression. The ELCA has yet to find that courage.
 
From the beginning of our work, the Listening Team strongly recommended that the Presiding Bishop publicize the report and distribute it throughout the ELCA. We urge that this action be done as a step toward much-needed transparency. It will foster authentic partnership in the complicated situations that we face in our life together in a time of institutional distrust and continuing violence against people of color.
 
Our conclusions drawn from the many hours spent listening to what the Holy Spirit was saying through those whom we interviewed seem to have been set aside. We mourn with those who have been harmed, and now feel, once again, unheard by their Church.
 
Personally, we are embarrassed and distressed in our relationship with the members of the Community of Misión Latina Luterana. Despite our best efforts to communicate the depth of the abuse that the Misión Latina Luterana community suffered, it feels that our words have fallen on deaf ears. The people of the community entrusted their stories of trauma and pain to us with tears and with gratitude for our listening. They trusted that we could fulfill our promise that the ELCA truly cares about their Community, and will take action to remediate the wrongs done to it. We continue to hope that it will do so.
 
Abiding in God’s longing for justice –
 
The Rev. Margaret Payne, retired bishop of the New England Synod
The Rev. Constanze Hagmaier, bishop of the South Dakota Synod
Roberto Lara, president of the Latino Ministries Association of the ELCA
 

 
 
UNA DECLARACIÓN DEL EQUIPO DE ESCUCHA DE LA ELCA
SOBRE EL SÍNODO DE SIERRA DEL PACÍFICO
 
El Equipo de Escucha de la ELCA fue convocado por la Obispa Elizabeth Eaton para escuchar las narraciones de las personas en el Sínodo de la Sierra del Pacífico en un momento de agitación y para hacer recomendaciones para toma de acción. Lamentablemente, las decisiones a las que ha llegado la Oficina de la Obispa Presidenta ignoran totalmente la intención de nuestro informe. No queremos que se suponga que nuestro trabajo está alineado o apoya en alguna forma las acciones propuestas por la Obispa Presidenta.
 
La palabra “racismo” no aparece en lo absoluto en “El informe de la obispa a la iglesia”. Sin embargo, el hallazgo del Equipo de Escucha fue que las palabras y acciones racistas causaron trauma y gran dolor a muchas personas de color en ese sínodo. Caracterizar las acciones racistas como simplemente “insensibles” o “equivocadas” es validar la acusación contra la ELCA de que estamos ciegos ante el dolor que causamos a nuestros hermanes, hermanas y hermanos de color. Cuando no nombramos y confesamos el pecado del racismo en nuestras instituciones, estamos condenados a continuar bajo su poder.
 
Para abordar el racismo institucional, necesitamos valentía y coraje institucional. El trabajo de compasión y justicia de los individuos no puede por sí solo lograr la transformación necesaria de toda una institución. Todas las partes de esa institución deben mirar valientemente a través de un lente evangélico a sus propias prácticas y políticas para reconocer las formas en que están contribuyendo a la opresión. La ELCA todavía tiene que encontrar esa valentía y coraje.
 
Desde el comienzo de nuestro trabajo, el Equipo de Escucha recomendó encarecidamente que la Obispa Presidenta hiciera público el informe y lo distribuyera por toda la ELCA. Instamos a que esta acción se realice como un paso hacia la transparencia que tanto se necesita.
 
Fomentará una asociación auténtica en las situaciones complicadas que enfrentamos en nuestra vida juntos en un momento de desconfianza institucional y continua violencia contra las personas de color.
 
Nuestras conclusiones extraídas de las muchas horas que pasamos escuchando lo que el Espíritu Santo decía a través de aquellos a quienes entrevistamos parecen haber sido ignoradas y dejadas a un lado. Lloramos junto con aquellos que han sido dañados y ahora se sienten, una vez más, ignorados por su propia Iglesia.
 
En lo personal, nos sentimos avergonzados y angustiados en nuestra relación con los miembros de la Comunidad de Misión Latina Luterana. A pesar de nuestros mejores esfuerzos por comunicar la profundidad del abuso que sufrió la comunidad de Misión Latina Luterana, parece que nuestras palabras han caído en saco roto. La gente de la comunidad nos confió sus historias, su trauma y su dolor con lágrimas, pero también con gratitud por nuestra escucha.
 
Confiaron en que podríamos cumplir nuestra promesa de que la ELCA realmente se preocuparía por su comunidad y tomaría medidas para remediar los daños que se le habían hecho. Seguimos esperando que así sea.
 
Permaneciendo en el anhelo de justicia de Dios —
 
La Reverenda Margaret Payne, obispa jubilada del Sínodo de Nueva Inglaterra
La Reverenda Constanze Hagmaier, obispa del Sínodo de Dakota del Sur
Roberto Lara, presidente de la Asociación de Ministerios Latinos de la ELCA

A Message from the ELM Board Co-Chairs

Greetings, 
 
As we anticipate Presiding Bishop Elizabeth Eaton’s decision regarding the actions of Bishop Megan Rohrer and the Sierra Pacific Synod Council on December 12, 2021, we, as the Co-Chairs of the Board of Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries want to remind our community of what led us to the decision to suspend Bishop Rohrer from the Proclaim and ELM community, our involvement with the Listening Panel that was convened by Bishop Eaton, and what the future holds for ELM. 
 
Pride
We acknowledge that Bishop Eaton’s announcement is expected to come as we begin the month of Pride in the LGBTQIA+ community. We grieve the timing of the anticipated release of Bishop Eaton’s announcement. The timing continues to reinforce what we have seen play out over the last several months in the ELCA, where BIPOC communities, specifically the Latiné community, have been pitted against the LGBTQIA+ community. This creates false binaries and can erase people who exist wholly in more than one of these communities. 
 
Pride began as a riot in NYC and was led by black and brown transgender women. There have been attempts in the secular world to erase the origins of Pride month, but the truth remains, that queer liberation is not possible without the liberation of our black and brown, LGBTQIA+ siblings. The anticipation of this announcement further reinforces the trauma that the Latiné, BIPOC, and LGBTQIA+ have experienced over the last several months. 
 
ELM’s Relationship with Bishop Rohrer
For much of 2021, ELM had struggled internally because of racist actions then-pastor Rohrer had made regarding the ELM board and staff members. These events all took place before Rohrer became bishop in September 2021. Internally, after individual conversations with Pastor Rohrer went nowhere to address these issues, ELM’s Board convened an Accountability Team composed of transgender, white, BIPOC, and neurodivergent members of ELM’s Board and the Proclaim community. Pastor Rohrer was invited to participate and co-create a process to address and repair the harm they had caused BIPOC members of ELM’s Board, staff, and Proclaim. 
 
In September, at Bishop Rohrer’s request, ELM sponsored a reception to celebrate their becoming the first trans bishop. In that same month, they informed ELM they would not continue to participate in the accountability process. 
 
After four months of deliberation, the Board came to the consensus that we would suspend Bishop Rohrer’s affiliation with ELM and its Proclaim community until they were willing to listen and talk about the harm they had done. Since there are over 400 members of the Proclaim community, we knew our decision to suspend Bishop Rohrer would be a public action so we crafted a public statement to Proclaim members and the broad ELM community. 
 
The weekend of December 12, 2021, the week before ELM’s regularly scheduled board meeting on December 16, we were coming to a consensus about the public statement and our process. Then on December 12, Bishop Rohrer and the Sierra Pacific Synod Council fired Pastor Nelson Rabell-González and harmed and traumatized Misión Latina Luterana and staff members of the Sierra Pacific Synod. In ELM’s regularly scheduled meeting, the Board affirmed our consensus to suspend Bishop Rohrer because they refused to participate in ELM’s internal accountability process.
 
On Friday, December 17, we informed Bishop Rohrer of the board’s decision, including a long, detailed personal letter from the Accountability Team, and gave them a copy of ELM’s public statement. They asked us to make a few changes to the public statement which we did. We released the public statement of the ELM Board decision the following week. 
 
Please read the full statement of ELM’s public response regarding Bishop Rohrer here. On Christmas Day, the Bay Area Reporter reported an interview with Bishop Rohrer in which they said they had “stopped participating actively in ELM in 2014” because they said ELM plagiarized their writing and dead-named people. Their statement was confusing because Bishop Rohrer participated in ELM events, retreats, receptions, and media since 2014–and because Board members that were involved in those issues thought they had been successfully resolved in 2014. 
 
The ELM Board Co-Chairs and members of the Accountability Team held Zoom meetings with the BIPOC and Transgender/Gender Non-Conforming affinity groups in Proclaim and one large group Zoom meeting for all Proclaim members in late December and early January to verbally inform them of the above actions. ELM board and staff members also responded to some calls and emails from donors. We noticed that many BIPOC Proclaim members and donors affirmed the Board action and announcement, while all of the complaints about the Board action were from White Proclaim members and donors–some of whom ended or suspended their financial contributions and affiliation. Other White Proclaim members and donors have responded with clarifying questions, requests for more information (some of which we cannot disclose), and some generous contributions. 
 
ELM and Bishop Eaton’s Listening Panel
At the beginning of March, Bishop Eaton convened a three-person Listening Panel to advise her about what actions she should take regarding Bishop Rohrer and the Sierra Pacific Synod Council. See the ELCA press release. The Listening Panel met April 1 and 2 and asked ELM to send two representatives to a 30-minute session. We had decided to send Pastor Kelsey Brown and Pastor Michael Wilker. As it got closer to the day of the meeting with the listening panel, the time was changed for ELM to meet with the panel. As a result, Pastor Brown was no longer available to represent ELM, and so Pastor Margarette Ouji, co-chair of the board, stepped in with Pastor Wilker. Before meeting with the Listening Panel, we wrote them a letter that can be found here
 
What is next for ELM? 
The Board commissioned a Communications Advisory group, made up of Board members and our Associate Director of Development and Communication Lewis Eggleston. The Communications Advisory group will help name and shape priority areas of content on behalf of the Board, to reflect and enliven ELM’s vision, mission, and values. They will be the conduit of the Board to more proactively, productively, and supportively address concerns and priorities in ELM communication. 
 
We will continue to listen deeply to our siblings in the Latino Ministries Association and the African Descent Lutheran Association and work together for a more liberated and equitable church. 
 
In August, Pastor Mike Wilker will step down from the board of directors of ELM. In November 2021, he was elected by the board to step in and serve for a short time. 
 
ELM has contracted with an organizational coach for three months to help the Board and staff discern our work together as an organization. We will have more information about this work in the coming weeks.
 
We invite you to work together and with ELM’s Board and staff to continue to organize queer seminarians and ministers, confront barriers and systemic oppression, and value and celebrate queer leaders and their ministries.
 
In the crucified and resurrected Christ,
Rev. Margarette Ouji (she/her/hers) 
Rev. Michael Wilker (he/him/his) 
ELM Board Co-Chairs

ELM Pride Devotional: Cari States-Codding

Come, Join the Dance of Trinity: A Pride Devotional
By: Cari States-Codding
 
 

Because I’m a church nerd, I decided to pick a hymn that gives my little queer heart life, “Come, Join the Dance of Trinity”. Let me preface this by saying that I can’t dance. I’ve seen toddlers with better moves than me. But the concept of dance, the uninhibited celebration of expression and emotions, is what draws me to this hymn.

The idea of the Trinity dancing, of making a space for us formed out of love and hope, is something that especially resonates for me as a queer person. Love of God’s children, and hope in their potential, is what this queer nerd needs. And this dance is meant for us.

Much like the toddler I mentioned earlier, nothing can stop the dancing. And, as this hymn points out, not even death can stop the dance. The love, hope, the very potential of all of us is not only accepted by God but is encouraged and sustained by God.

I’ve faced situations when being queer and being a leader in the church seem antithetical, where it feels like there’s a lot of “weight and woe”; the last thing I feel like doing is dancing (even if I could).

I feel like telling the world what it can do with its opinion of me, and it’s usually not that “we are free to move”. But this reminder that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that no person, thing, or organization has the right to restrict our joy, gives my queer self a little boost. As if this isn’t good enough, we are invited to participate in God’s creation, to shape our lives and to shape joy. How could we ever shape joy on our own? And what love God must have to dance with us, love us, nurture our joys and our passions, and claim us as God’s own children! 

 

Amen.

 
 
 
 
 

 
Cari States-Codding (Pronouns: any, if used respectfully) is a third-year seminarian, preparing for their capstone internship. Cari and their husband live with their two fur gremlins, Archie and Thor, and their three-member support staff has helped give them life throughout seminary. 
 

ELM Pride Blog: Alex Aivars

Life is a Dance Floor: A Pride Devotional
By: Alex Aivars
 
If God is a DJ,
life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm,
you are the music
~ Pink
 
I love to go out dancing, which I’ve written about before in this blog space. This wasn’t always the case, however.
 
When I was first coming out in the mid-2000s there was a dancefloor at the first gay bar I ever went to. I remember my friends asking me if I wanted to dance. I firmly said no. Up until that point in my life, my experiences with dancing were awkward and weird, consisting of school dances where I danced with girls at an arm’s length. Dancing had no appeal for me.
 
As I started to come out to more people in my life, and get more comfortable with my gay self, I became less reluctant to go out on the dancefloor. If I was with a group of friends, and they wanted to dance, I would dance. But I would never be the first on the dancefloor.
 
After a few more years, and after I concluded that I could in fact be both gay and Christian, I was the one dragging my friends to the dancefloor. When the right song came on, at the right moment, with the right people, it was amazing. I felt the music to my soul. I no longer had to think or communicate with words; movement became my sole communication medium. The rest of the world would fade away as waves of music washed over me. These waves would then catch my soul and be translated back into the physical world into movement with my body. It was only my body, soul, and the music. It was my escape.
 
I deeply missed dancing that first year of the pandemic. Then almost a year after the pandemic began, I attended a virtual conference of queer Christians. A dance party over Zoom was scheduled for the last night of the conference. I was skeptical at first while I waited for the dance party to start, sitting there on my couch by myself in front of my computer screen. I planned to stay for 2 songs. The DJ then played the first song. I liked it. I started to move my head in time with the music. Then the next song came on, and my hands started moving as well. Soon my upper body started to move as another good song came on. Pretty soon I was on my feet, full out dancing. I was having a blast. An hour and a half later, the Zoom dance party came to an end. It was what my soul needed.
 
I hope everyone can find that place where everything fades away and you can be at one with your body and soul. It’s in those moments when we can fully and deeply hear God saying these words to us: You are my beloved. With you, I am well pleased.
 
Amen.
 

 

 
 

 
Alex Aivars (he/him) is currently starting his second call as pastor of Christ in Dewitt, MI. Since this is a part-time call, he also develops websites for businesses, non-profits, and churches. In his spare time he likes to dance, be outdoors, travel, and read.
 

ELM Pride Devotional: Caleb Crainer

Last time I went back to my small midwestern hometown one of my friends from High School asked, “do you still listen to weird music?” I assured him I did. Even though I don’t really think of it as strange, I knew what he was getting at. I grew up listening to an eclectic array of music since both my parents had cassette and record collections. My first Cassette was Beach Boys “Endless Summer” and my first CD was actually the Coolio album “It Takes a Thief” …which my parents promptly confiscated because of the inappropriate language. I went through a phase of listening to Contemporary Christian Music like you do. And then just whatever was on the radio. Often my friends and I would go to the Books/Music/Video store in my hometown and browse, which is where I found their “world-music” section! In a small city that’s a big deal.

I gravitated to music without words or with lyrics in non-English languages. Something about New Age music like “Deep Forest”, Renaissance music like “Brumel”, and World Music like “Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares” resonated with my whole being. My friends thought my music was odd, but I didn’t care. One day a friend came over and shouted, “You HAVE to listen to this song.” She played me a song called “Alane” by Wes Madiko, an artist from Cameroon. I had never heard anything like it before. It starts out with soft rhythmic chanting that turns into a lively dance track with a soaring chorus that elevated my spirit every time. I had no idea what the song was about, but I immediately downloaded it on Napster. The next day I went to the world-music section at the store and miraculously found the full album called “Walenga.” Why was it here in my town? Was this meant to be? A sign from God? Yes, obviously. Each track was a whole glorious journey in itself, or so I imagined. (btw, I saw the music video for “Alane” years later on YouTube and it’s pretty fantastic.) I played it on repeat for weeks.

Apparently “Alane” had been somewhat of a hit in Europe, which is why it was available in the middle of Kansas. And why, if you were sitting on Main street in 1999, you might’ve heard it blasting from a pickup truck going by. Don’t get me wrong, I also loved Savage Garden and Shania Twain like everyone else, but I had this special connection to songs that most of the people in my life didn’t know. A special playlist of rhythms and sounds that seemed to speak just to me. 

The internet eventually gave me the power to look up the translation to “Alane.” The chorus means “Come on and dance in a love song, All together, forever.” When so many songs were about straight people’s “hearts going on,” this had been a love song for me and my queer self. Wes’ “Alane” was my glimpse that the world out there was so much bigger and more fabulous than I could ever imagine. 

 


Caleb Crainer (he/him) serves as Pastor at St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church in Los Angeles, California, as the Dean of the LA Metro Conference in the Southwest California Synod, and as the First-Call Accompaniment Coaching Convener in Proclaim. His favorite parts of ministry are having his congregation sing in different languages and the grace they show each other when things are mispronounced.