We are all being transfigured.
Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I will make three dwellings here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud a voice said, “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!” When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Get up and do not be afraid.” And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone.
— Matthew 17: 1-8
There was a 3×4 mirror on the wall across from me as I sat on the doctor’s examination bed while they unwrapped the bandages and took out the drains.
It had been about a week and a half of recovery from top surgery. A week and a half of being bandaged, sore, and out of it. I wasn’t totally aware of the world (but I was somehow acutely aware of the fact that I had watched every single episode of The Great British Bakeoff.)
I sat there and watched as she gingerly exposed my bare chest – you could see the wrinkles from the slight tightness of the bandages, a little bit of dried blood from the drains, and the quickly healing scars on my chest.
I sat there silently while she inspected the incision sites, my (removed than re-applied) nipples, and the holes where the drains were in. I sat there and became totally unaware of her presence and became hyper aware of my body. Not me – my body.
I both didn’t recognize myself, and also fully recognized myself at the same time. I didn’t recognize this new shape that was sitting across from me in the mirror. Yet, I did recognize this new shape because it felt like an old shape at the same time. An old home. A place that I had visited before, but couldn’t exactly recollect the exact time or date. A dream place that was now fully materialized before me.
Suddenly I felt the presence of those who had blazed the trail in order for me and many others – Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Riviera, and Lucy Hicks Anderson. Michael Dillon, Alan L. Hart, and Willmer Broadnax. I could feel their pride, joy, compassion, and their hope. I could hear them deliver the message, “This is my Son, with him I am well pleased.”
I left that appointment believing one thing: that our current selves, that Jesus’ self, that the disciples selves, are only one evolution of who we are soon to become, who God dreamt us of being. If we find ourselves feeling burdened by the ways in which we currently find ourselves, wait. Have faith. Do not be afraid. Look. Notice your community (be it ancestral, or earthly.) The transfiguration will come.
|Rev. Drew Stever (he/they) serves as Lead Pastor at Hope Lutheran Church in Hollywood, CA. He believes the world needs more laughter, so you’ll probably hear and see him and his family doing a lot of things that are just plain ridiculous and hilarious. They call it “Holy Hilarity.”|